


Scenes from the Terminal Side of Time

by AltUniverseWash



Series: Forever After [7]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Communication, Emotional Growth, Emotions, F/F, Fluff, Ladystuck 2020, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Relationship, Love, POV Female Character, Romance, Safety, Self-Worth, Slice of Life, Support, Supportive Relationship, Trans Female Character, alt-epilogue, loving relationship, relationship, talking about feelings, vrisrezi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:30:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23490187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AltUniverseWash/pseuds/AltUniverseWash
Summary: Vriska Serket and Terezi Pyrope have come a long way since the end of the game.On a stormy day, they have a conversation about life, feelings, and opening up about emotional needs.
Relationships: Terezi Pyrope/Vriska Serket
Series: Forever After [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1664167
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25
Collections: Ladystuck Art/Fic Exchange 2020





	Scenes from the Terminal Side of Time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xElinielx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xElinielx/gifts).



> This piece was written as part of the Ladystuck 2020 art/fic exchange for tumblr user xElinielx (https://xelinielx.tumblr.com/)
> 
> This is an emotional rom-fluff type piece that focuses on Terezi and Vriska's relationship in an extended AU where, at this point, they're married. No prior reading is required to understand this story, although if you enjoy it I would encourage you to read the rest of the Forever After AU series, as it's all very much in this vein.

“Gah! Fuck! How do you even  _ do  _ that?!” Vriska sounded frustrated… but in a way that made it feel good-natured rather than unpleasant. She tossed the Playstation controller down on the couch.

“All the effort to convince June to alchemize this human game console and I’m getting my ass kicked by someone who can’t even  _ see the damn game _ !” She laughed and turned to Terezi. “We’ve known each other forever and I still don’t get that.”

Terezi wrinkled her nose, faking indignation. “Oh, are you accusing me of  _ cheating _ at the game? Are you suggesting that my superior legislacerator’s reflexes combined with my cunning intellect and supernaturally effective non-visual senses aren’t sufficient to defeat my wife in a mere  _ game _ ?!”

Vriska grumbled, but she wasn’t fooling anyone. Terezi might be blind, but she could see exactly what her wife was really feeling. Elevated heart rate. Skin flushed slightly, specifically around the cheeks and forehead. Smell of pheromones in the air…

“Oh my god!” Terezi laughed. “Is this a  _ turn-on _ for you?”

“No…” Okay, she was lying her ass off but Terezi wasn’t going to push the issue. Much.

“Okay, fine,” she said, letting the issue lie. “If you don’t wanna keep losing, what else do you want to do?”

As she finished the question, a loud  _ crack _ of thunder sounded in the distance, reminding both of them why they were stuck inside and playing a video game in the first place.

Vriska startled at the thunder, jumping a bit and looking around. She didn’t think Terezi noticed, but she did. She didn’t think Terezi noticed a lot of things her wife did. The way she squeezed Terezi’s shoulder every morning in the same desperate,  _ are you still there _ kind of way. How she preferred not to be alone in the house and would ask Terezi to sit with her even if they were just doing something quiet. The way she would wake up sweating heavily, mumbling about things she didn’t think Terezi could hear.

Terezi put an arm around Vriska’s waist and hugged her, leaning the side of her head against the taller troll’s shoulder. Vriska settled and bumped Terezi’s head playfully.

“Okay, still can’t really go out until the storm passes. What should we do?”

“I’m hungry. Let’s go eat!”

* * *

While they were not the unmitigated culinary terrors that Rose and Kanaya somehow managed to be (Terezi still remembered the story Roxy had told everyone about how they managed to explode five eggs in the pot once), neither Vriska nor Terezi had ever had much opportunity to learn how to cook. It wasn’t, to put it politely, much of a priority in Alternian society.

As a result, the height of their exploits generally consisted of making various sandwiches. Vriska would pile various forms of meat on two pieces of bread and call it a day. Terezi, on the other hand, found herself wanting to experiment with the wide array of human sandwich toppings. This had apparently been a very developed art form on the old Earth, and Terezi was committed to ensuring that it was not forgotten.

“I don’t get you,” Vriska said. Terezi could  _ feel _ her eyes turning toward the sandwich. “It smells gross, even to me?”

“Oh please!” Terezi exclaimed, turning her nose up. “The perfume of Miracle Whip, sauerkraut, and three different kinds of Salami is as enticing as the taste is delicious.”

“Suit yourself,” Vriska replied, taking a bite of her own sandwich. Another thunderclap sounded – closer than the last few had been – and Vriska jumped. She laughed. “Startled me!”

Of course, that happened a lot lately. And Vriska had never been this jumpy before her time in the black hole – not back on Alternia, not during their time together on the meteor, not ever.

Terezi knew why, of course. They’d talked at length about the time Vriska spent trapped in the Other Place (worthy of a capital-letter title, no less) beyond the black hole – about her eventual realization that she could get out under the right circumstances.

And even though Vriska often tried to play it cool, they’d talked about how Vriska felt about all of this. About how Terezi could help her cope, and how they could work together to help Vriska to heal. It was a gradual process that could take years – neither of them were under any illusions that this was something that was going to be solved by a few of the right words and a long hug. Although those things definitely didn’t  _ hurt _ .

“It’s okay,” Terezi said as she gently touched her wife’s back, running a claw lightly down her spine.

There was something else – something Terezi hadn’t talked to Vriska about: she still felt guilty about not finding Vriska.

Terezi had searched Paradox Space practically until it had finally collapsed. Who knew what would’ve happened if she’d stayed longer? She’d probably be dead – or would've ended up in the Other Place like Vriska did.

But every day she asked herself if maybe she couldn’t have done just a little bit more. Searched just a little longer. Maybe she would’ve found some clue that would’ve spared Vriska some of the time she’d spent re-living her entire past in a kind of hellish loop.

Terezi sighed – the sandwich suddenly seemed a lot less appealing.

* * *

They were back on the couch after eating. No video game this time – Vriska wasn’t in the mood to keep losing constantly. So they were sitting on the couch together. More specifically, Terezi was sitting and Vriska was lying with her head in Terezi’s lap.

Terezi ran her hands along her wife’s horns, feeling the velvet exterior gently.

“You doing okay?” Terezi asked.

“Yeah,” Vriska responded, her voice calm. “Doing okay.”

That was good. Terezi took one hand and twined it in Vriska’s hair. Silence settled in like a cold draft over the room, and Terezi found the urge to fidget growing with every passing second.

“Are you… doing okay too?” Vriska asked.

She knows!

Terezi’s hand stopped moving – she froze. She hadn’t said anything about what she’d been thinking about before. Hadn’t said anything about the guilt, the second-guessing that kept chewing at her guts.

She felt Vriska reaching up to touch her face – with a sigh, Terezi leaned and let her wife run her hand down her cheeks. She was starting to tear up and she knew Vriska could tell.

“I know you’re the one who’s got the super senses and mind powers,” Vriska said quietly, “but I’ve got the power of caring a lot about Terezi Pyrope.”

That was the dorkiest thing she’s ever said. She really has mellowed out.

Terezi smiled and leaned to kiss the palm of the hand that was stroking her cheeks.

It occurred to Terezi that she could take this two ways – either act like she had  _ no idea _ what Vriska was talking about and make her drag it out… or just tell her. And this felt like an important decision – how much did she want to base her marriage on being intentionally obtuse.

Not at all.

“No, I’m not doing okay. I keep feeling guilty about what happened to you in Paradox Space and the black hole and all. And I know it wasn’t my fault and I know I probably couldn’t have done shit but… I still feel guilty all the time. And I don’t want to make you think about that because you’re obviously still healing and I don’t want you to feel like you’re some kind of burden.”

Terezi sighed heavily and leaned her head back against the couch. She felt Vriska shifting and sitting up.

Well I guess she’s done with my shit for now. Cool. Real good job, Terezi.

“Lie down.” Vriska’s voice was surprisingly warm.

“What?”

“Lie down, dammit.”

Terezi shifted and lay down on the couch. She felt Vriska’s hand lift her head slightly and then the back of her head was resting against Vriska’s legs. Legs that were bare because she “found pants confining” and refused to wear them if they weren’t going out and company wasn’t coming over. Terezi relaxed, sinking down into her wife’s thighs and smiling.

“Okay, I’m lying down. Happy?”

Vriska touched one of her horns lightly. “Getting there, but not quite.”

Terezi pouted her lips. “What?”

A hand in her hair, gently massaging her scalp. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Soft, without judgement.

“I didn’t want you to worry or feel bad about it,” Terezi said. “It’s not your problem if I’ve got some weird savior-complex hangup.”

She felt a tap on her nose and sniffed.

“Stop,” Vriska said. “Don’t you have needs too?”

Of course she did. That was a silly thing to even ask, even rhetorically.

Vriska continued – “I love you, and you’re never a burden to me.” Voice calm. Heart rate even. Hands softly in her hair. Terezi blushed.

Terezi realized for the thousandth time how much Vriska had changed since she came back. She still had her sarcasm and her spirit, but so many of the hard edges had been smoothed out and softened. There was a depth and consideration to her that hadn’t been there before. Maybe the potential was there – the first seeds of it – but it hadn’t been fully realized. Terezi still wasn’t clear on the way that Vriska’s perception of the time she spent in the Other Place worked, but she acted like someone who’d lived a lifetime and been lucky enough to come out the other side with the wisdom it entailed.

“What do you need?” Vriska asked.

What do I need?

Terezi had never actually considered the question. She’d always been results-oriented – focused on accomplishing what needed to be accomplished. Once the game was won and Lord English was gone, she’d been focused on trying to find Vriska. When she was sure Vriska was lost, she’d turned her attention to making a new life for herself on Earth-C – on the mechanical aspects of being. When Vriska came back, she devoted herself to making sure that the woman she loved was supported and cared for.

But what do I need?

Was her entire identity to be derived simply from making sure that the correct actions were taken? To making sure that everyone was taken care of? To protecting and helping but never… never just  _ living _ ?

Terezi could feel her eyes growing hot with tears – they stuck in her eyelashes and she blinked to release them as still more formed. A small sob formed in her throat and she choked it back.

“It’s not like…” she started, fought harder against the lump in her throat. “It’s not like I’m unhappy! I get to spend time with you and our friends! We can basically do whatever we want – we get to help build a whole society!”

“Sure, that’s great!” Vriska paused. “But… what do you  _ need? _ ”

Why is this such a hard question?!

Some great Seer of Mind that can’t even look inside my own mind and…

Maybe it wasn’t that complicated. Maybe she was  _ over _ thinking this. A lot.

Breathe.

Terezi took a deep breath, held it for a moment, and let it out. Vriska wasn’t saying anything, just delicately playing her fingers along the base of Terezi’s horns. It felt so wonderful, and Terezi wished she could just…

...sometimes the answers we seek aren’t complex, or nuanced, or overly complicated with dozens of steps.

“I want to just be able to enjoy everything. This – what we’re doing right now. I want to be able to understand that I did everything I could, and that you’re back… that everything is the way it is. I just want to be my own person instead of feeling like I’m still tied to regrets over something I didn’t even have any control over in the first place!”

Terezi felt angry and frustrated, but she wasn’t even sure at  _ what _ . The universe? Which one! Some cosmic entity that had manipulated her fate? Pretty sure all of those were dead and gone now!

A little squeeze at the base of her horn, and Terezi closed her eyes. It felt good.

“And how can I help?”

And that was wrong, because Vriska wasn’t the one who needed to help. She was the one who’d been through hell and came back on the other side. She was the one who needed to be helped…

Except that they all had. They’d all been through hell and come out the other side. After a certain point, it became only a difference of degrees where the end result was the same. What good was being there to support someone if you kept denying that you ever needed support yourself?

“Tell me how you feel about me,” Terezi said. Her voice sounded so small – so far away. She felt vulnerable. “Please.”

“Okay,” Vriska said. She paused for a moment – didn’t answer right away. Terezi noticed that her heart was beating faster – she wasn’t… wasn’t exactly  _ nervous _ but… Terezi couldn’t quite put her finger on it.

“Okay, so… I love you. And maybe that sounds real stupid and silly… but I’ve never told anyone that before, because I don’t think I’ve ever felt that about anyone before. I know that we did some really fucked-up shit to each other back on Alternia… and…”

Her hand briefly went away from Terezi’s horns and Terezi knew she’d touched the center of her chest. A memory that this version of Vriska never had… but somehow Terezi knew that she was aware of it. Some part of her.

“...and off of Alternia too,” she continued. “And when I was trapped inside the black hole I kept thinking about you and how much I’d hurt you… but also how much I missed you and how we barely got a chance to get things off the ground.”

“And I meant what I said on the meteor but also… I don’t think I understood what it meant. And when I came back… I mean, I say it like it just  _ happened _ but I spent so long thinking it over… when I came back, I wanted to find you again because I wanted to be there to help you and protect you and care for you and all…”

She took a second to slow her breathing – her heart quieted a little. “But I also wanted to find you because I wanted to share  _ life _ with you. To be able to do things together and tell fucking stupid-ass jokes and laugh… and to be close to you, like this.”

Vriska ran a hand up under Terezi’s neck, touching a particularly tender spot.

“Because we never got to do any of this before, not really. Because being soft and squishy on Alternia would get us culled, and being like this during the game would’ve gotten us killed by a dozen fucking monsters. But now…”

She leaned in and, at the same time, slipped a hand behind Terezi’s neck and lifted her up. Terezi knew exactly what Vriska wanted to do, could  _ feel _ the heat off her cheeks. Terezi could hear her breathing – quickened in anticipation.

“Go ahead,” Terezi said softly.

Vriska leaned over more and Terezi reached up and wrapped her hands around her wife’s neck. Their lips met and Terezi let herself savour the feeling – the soft taste of her wife’s lipstick – the texture of the tip of her tongue.

It felt like too little time had passed when Vriska broke the kiss and Terezi settled back into her lap, smiling.

“Point is,” Vriska said, sounding a little bit…  _ flustered? _ “I didn’t just want one thing from you, I wanted  _ all _ the things. I wanted to be able to be around you and help you and all that but… also I want you to feel like you can open up to me and do your own things too. I’m not gonna go flying off the handle or shut down or feel like you’re being selfish. I dunno… maybe in the past I had that kind of stuff in me but… it’s been a long time, you know?”

And strangely enough, Terezi felt like she  _ did _ know. Because, even though she hadn’t had the unique experience of living and re-living her entire past life in a time-warped pocket dimension, she  _ did _ have the unique experience of having at least trace memories of hundreds of doomed timelines. Memories that were hers… and also weren’t. Other Terezis that had lived and died and never lived at all.

“Yeah… I do know,” Terezi said, her own voice still and quiet.

The thunder cracked outside and she felt Vriska jump, following that with a nervous laugh. Terezi reached up and took Vriska’s hand, squeezing tightly.

“You’ve got your own storms,” Vriska said. “Your own things that bother you or put you on edge or make you feel like maybe something’s just… wrong. So… please don’t think I’m ever too occupied for that.”

“Vriska,” Terezi said, closing her eyes. Vriska responded with a low  _ Hmm? _

“I like being here like this. I feel safe and warm and  _ happy _ . You asked me what I need… well… right now I need  _ this _ .”

Vriska didn’t say anything back – she didn’t need to. The fact that she responded by squeezing Terezi’s hand again and then settling back into the couch with Terezi’s head still in her lap… that was enough. The fact that she continued to sit like that, softly stroking her wife’s head until her hands slowed, then stopped… that was enough.

Terezi could hear the soft snores as her wife slumbered, still holding onto her hand.

And, eventually, Terezi found herself growing tired – when the thunder passed on and, outside, all was the comforting drone of the rain and nothing more. With Vriska’s hand tucked up under her chin, Terezi smiled and closed her eyes, because a nap seemed like a good idea under the circumstances.

Personal growth almost never happens over-night, but Terezi felt like she was  _ safe _ in a way that she hadn’t truly felt before. Safe to be herself – to exist for her own sake. And she knew beyond the shadow of the slightest doubt that Vriska would support her in that.

Terezi let herself drift on the sounds of the rain and Vriska’s even snoring – and as Terezi felt herself moving past that indefinable threshold between waking and sleeping…

She realized that this life she’d made for herself… this was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Dear Reader, thank you again for reading my work! I hope you enjoyed it - if you did, please leave kudos and feel free to comment! I will attempt to respond to all comments.
> 
> If you enjoy my work, follow me on social media:  
> Twitter: twitter.com/AltUniverseWash  
> Tumblr: transkanayamaryam.tumblr.com


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